I’ve been under a rain cloud for a week now. In the figurative sense, of course. A lot of crazy stuff has been happening, including needing to move again. I hope I am not trying to beat my personal best of 8 moves in 3 years. I haven’t had a home for longer than 5 months in a year and a half. 4 homes ago, actually. Or is it 5? This can’t be good for the psyche. I thought I would have my own home in London for a while. That didn’t happen. So move number 3 happened last night. Temporarily, of course.
When you are under a rain cloud, it affects your whole personality. You can fool yourself into thinking you are acting normally, until people look at you askance and say, ‘um, are you okay?’ I have no idea what expression my face is wearing at that moment, but I would imagine it is not one of joy. Even people I barely know have commented on it, one person saying I looked like I was in a fog. That ‘something was obviously going on’. I guess they have seen my regular behaviour and know that this is not it.
This sucks. And I am finding it hard to shake. I lack empathy for other people’s emotions and my relationships with people are off kilter. If I can’t summon back Fun Linzi, pretty soon no one is going to want to hang out with me. Times like this, a holiday is needed.
I love this song, The Love Language – Providence