All I ever wanted

Since I got back from Vancouver I have felt off center and chaotic. I want this month to be about regaining strength and focus through my yoga practice and just really doing what it is that I want to do. I get way too easily side-tracked by other people; their influence on my emotions rattles me and causes me to veer off course. Once I’ve realised nothing I can say or do will change their minds, it doesn’t matter, it’s worked its negative influence on me. Truth be told, I’ve been so blessed to have certain friends move to London recently, some even from Canada, and I look forward to getting to spend a grey winter with them. Knowing that certain people are happy to have me in their life, from whatever distance, does help to alleviate the fact that others are less so.

So how to regain that focus?

A favourite anusara instructor of mine in Vancouver urged us to try to embody the characteristics of water in one class and even though I am a Pisces, and apparently this should come naturally, I only really manage a few of them.

Be calm

Be still

Be dynamic

Be flexible

Be unstoppable

Be patient

Be peaceful

So while I am focusing on ‘grounding myself’, I want to stay fluid and flexible. To be unstoppable in my intentions and peaceful in my resolve. Well, we shall see.

“My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,” the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky.” Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.”

Some songs I can’t stop listening to

Fleetwood Mac – Songbird
The Airborne Toxic Event – Does This Mean You’re Moving On?
The Airborne Toxic Event – Half Of Something Else
Coldplay – Green Eyes
College – A Real Hero
Stars – Your Ex-Lover Is Dead

 

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