Lot of relationship chatter with the girls recently. Whenever we get together, we invariably gossip endlessly about boys and failed relationships. The latest discussion, why men are always looking for the next shiny thing and women settle for less than they deserve. No, of course we didn’t come up with an answer. Maybe women know what it is really like out there and can appreciate when they find a good guy. But men are always looking for someone hotter, someone more exciting and can never be happy with what they have. Neither sex is making the right decision. Vancouver seems to be a hive for men who are looking to cheat*. This weekend I received more than a couple of cuddles, tickles and more than friendly affection from two attached boys. One with his actual girlfriend in attendance. She did not look surprised. This sort of behaviour is depressing and makes you lose all faith in relationships. Or maybe you hope that when they stop being boys and start being men that they have gotten this out of their system. But at what age can we expect this to happen? Of course there is a lot to be said for people who are simply in the wrong relationship and looking for an escape route. God knows, we’ve all been there and done that. But does that make me want to be the escape route partner of choice, um… no.
My flatmate got dumped recently because the guy she was seeing wanted to see other people. Then he started going out with one of those other people. The ‘I don’t want a relationship’ line that really translates to ‘I just don’t want a relationship with YOU’. Relationships with other people are just traumatic and I can see why so many people in Vancouver throw themselves into sports and outdoor activities instead of dating. Because hiking and biking are never going to break your heart or leave you for another. And being single means you never have to compromise or change yourself for anyone. This is a self absorbed city, and some people only have enough love in their lives for themselves. Or it’s just a total self preservation thing and I can understand that. Being single is freedom and it’s fun and it shows in your personality.
Being single at a party means everyone wants to hang out and hear your jokes. You aren’t looking at your watch because you said you’d be home at a certain time, or avoiding your significant other’s glare as you chat to a 6 ft 2 blond. I’ve been thankful for my single status in Vancouver as it means that it is so easy to make friends and people just want to hang out and have fun with you. But when it’s because you are more fun than their girlfriend or boyfriend then you have to run away.
On the other hand, love can smooth over any past heartbreaks and bad days are better when you have someone’s arms to fall into. On this weekend’s discussion of ‘why people cheat’, I can happily say I tend to have a very loyal heart and generally only have room in my life for one special person**. I can hope that one person will also be able to decide that I am the most awesome person that they have ever met and can stop looking for something shinier. I am the shiniest 😉
* Okay, this is a perception from my experience and not necessarily a reality, don’t get your knickers in a twist, Vancouver.
** Well, I hope so. Unless the Vancouver dating gene gets to me too… dun dun duhhh!